You Make Me Feel like a Powerful Woman (or something)

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Powerful Woman


I read This Article the other day... I've sat with it for a little while now. I've decided to write a response.

I am sitting here at 33 years old (My Birthday is in 2 Months and 8 Days if you must know) and I feel both ancient and so very young.
Ancient because I have been doing this, THIS thing we call "Living" for 33 years. I've been conscious of it, and making memories of it, for about 30 of those years.
So VERY young because people in my family tend to live long, long lives. My maternal grandfather died of lung cancer, but he was nearly 80 when it happened. Even my paternal grandmother, who was taken abruptly by ovarian cancer, was 80 when she died. Long, long lives indeed.

By the precedent set up in my family, I am liable to be here for at LEAST 45-48 more years. As people keep getting older (my surviving blood grandparents are 82 and 80 and enjoying healthy lives right now) that average goes up. Barring an accident or catastrophic illness, I have a LOT of life ahead of me.

And I despair of that sometimes. Sometimes I sit around like the end of Interview with the Vampire (couldn't find an appropriate picture) Magenta from Rocky Horror and just lament how much longer I am likely to be around. Because hot dang if 33 doesn't feel like it is just an eternity most days.

https://mtgcardsmith.com/view/magenta-3?list=set&set=12294


But, if I truly sit down and take the time to stop being so dramatic I realise the following things:

-As I get older I feel more powerful. Not just in that way that becoming an Adult makes you feel more powerful. I feel as though I am becoming more "Me," more "Rhiannon Martin" as I get older.
Like previous to being about 25 anyone could've called themselves "Rhiannon" and you would've had to belive them because honestly, who the actual crap was she?
Now there's no denying who Rhiannon Martin is and that there's absolutely only one of me. I am galvanized, and that is powerful.
I feel more powerful.
-As I get older I feel more beautiful.
Yeah I'm totally pissed off that my hair started going gray at age 30. But not BECAUSE it started going gray, more because I would rather wake up one morning to gorgeous, flowing gray locks (Emmylou Harris anyone?) than spend 30 years slowly turning awesome.

#hairgoals

-I am angry that media and popular culture tell women that we lose our desirability as we get older. This is not at ALL what I have discovered in my life. I've found myself more attractive to everyone for every reason. Sexually, as a friend, as a nurturer, as a help in times of trouble, as the cause of someone's troubles. I've found that people want me MORE the older I get. And I want to have older women around more as I get older, too.

I don't necessarily believe that every bad thing stems from the patriarchy, I don't want to blame "patriarcal tendancies" on the reasons why we treat aging women this way. I instead choose to think of it as a failing of sinful hearts and minds in a world that looks out for #1 almost exclusively.

Obviously you wouldn't want a woman to know how powerful she is if she might diminish you? Right? I mean... right? We've been led to believe this anyway. I don't think it is true. I don't think that the more powerful I feel, the more I need to rob someone else of her power.

This is honestly going to end up being an unfinished tangent. I could either stop here, with a final paragraph, or write a manifesto I'm not interested in composing at the moment. So I'll sum up.

It is absolutely true that I feel more powerful as I get older- in every aspect of my life. It is also true that I hate feeling vague suppressed by the general culture at hand. BUT, a third truth is that I am taking it all in stride and not letting anything get in the way of my general awesomeness. As long as I AM powerful (and I am) I can FEEL powerful.

Can we talk about Emmylous Harris again for a moment and say that this song is ALL about me?
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